After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
In and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she
Loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
The local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
Store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
Of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
Are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
Intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12.. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels..

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15.. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
Then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of
The clerks passed out.

I’ll do a decent post by the weekend, okay?

Hugs from Chaos (aka Dreamer aka Melissa)

Look for another post by tonight!

Chaos

• Smashing Magazine 100 Amazing Word Press Themes
• WordPress’s Own Theme Library
• Theme Lab
• EZ WP Themes
• Six Revisions

I’m also looking here in case I want to purchase one:

• Theme Forest (link not working at the moment)
• Template Monster
• The Faery Tale (I’m leaning towards here)

Would you like to help me pick a new theme?

Chaos

I’m going to blame it on the holidays and allow one more week. One guess per person, deadline January 5th 12midnight EST, winner chosen from all correct answers using random.org. See last week’s post for photo.

Have fun!

Here are the new rules: You have until Tuesday, December 29, 2009 to respond. One guess per person. Prize is a $5.00 gift certificate to Amazon.com again. Have fun!

P.S. I ran out of time yesterday. I was going to rant about the reasons I am so fat. I’ll have to save that for another Tuesday. *smiles*

Ready to listen to some great music? It’s all about me today.

Unwritten

Home Life

I Don’t Want To Be

No More “I Love You’s”

Every Kinda People

New York Minute

That’s it for me tonight. Sleep well!

No, this post is separate from the Music Monday post that I’ll put together later. I wanted to share that I put the domain name Creative WAHM up for sale on eBay. Here is the listing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140369060637

I originally purchased it in 2007 with the intention of creating an advice site for women wanting to work from home. But year after year, I got distracted from it and never made it into anything. I have had sites up there, but my attention was continually pulled elsewhere. So, if you are a Creative Work At Home mom and would like to start building a website, here is a great Christmas present you can buy for yourself. If it isn’t the right fit for you, please consider passing along the link. Perhaps someone you know or a friend of a friend would be interested.

I appreciate you taking a look!

Chaos