Three children out of school for four days + one stubborn husband with a broken leg (Thanksgiving fun) + one unhousewifely housewife = CHAOS

I have no words.

Hi again!

After yesterday’s heay posting, I thought I would drag out an old tutorial that I re-found over the weekend. Hope you enjoy!

CAPPUCCINO MIX GIFT CONE TUTORIAL:

by Melissa Olivero

*Please note that while this tutorial was written wholly by me, I am not the originator of this idea. These are the steps I used to create the item.

ITEMS NEEDED:

•  Wilton’s Decorator Cone Bags 12″ Clear
•  2/3 cup of Instant Coffee (jar should read “Instant”)
•  1 cup chocolate mix (homemade or purchased)
•  1 cup non-dairy creamer powder (vanilla flavored or plain)
•  3/8 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
•  3/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
•  10 Cinnamon Sticks
•  Ribbon
•  Labels or Tags

1. Grind the instant coffee to a fine powder in a blender or food processor
2. Mix all ingredients thoroughly except cinnamon sticks in a large bowl (coffee, chocolate mix, creamer, nutmeg and cinnamon).
3. Pour just under a 1/2 cup of the mix into each cone.
4. Add in 2 cinnamon sticks.
5. Twist cone bag and tie tightly with ribbon.
6. Add a label or tag with the following instructions: “For One Serving – Add 3 Tablespoons of Mix to 6 Ounces of Hot Water”

Hi,

It certainly has been awhile since I posted here. So much has been going on with me, it is hard to know where to start. But I don’t currently have a therapist, so you get stuck with me. *smiles*

This blog is about me and mainly my quest to get organized. However, since my housewifely limitations are tied into my mental health status, I guess this blog is also about depression, ADD, post traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety. The only drawback in being completely open and honest is that I have children and I know that whatever goes on the net stays on the net in one form or another. Don’t get me wrong, I am not ashamed of who I am. My issues are both physical and psychological in origin, so just like any other disability, it is just part of who I am, but by no means is it all of me. At the same time, there are reasons why I may hold my tongue at times here. I’ve never minded discussing what I have been through as long as it helps other people or to explain/apologize when I have been unable to meet what should be reasonable expectations of behavior.

Anyway… I’m in the middle of a crash. For me that means that I withdraw from everyone but my immediate family:  my husband, my kids, my parents and siblings. I have a very difficult time being around any other family members and close friends unfortunately and strangers can cause complete panic. Usually, it also means that I have a hard time leaving the house at times. I keep my focus completely on my children and usually some type of computer thing… be it a game like Everquest II or digital art. This time around, I am doing the art thing. I keep all my energy on keeping the children busy and happy. In general, the crashes come in waves and during the last few years, they have been short and fewer in between.

This time around has been a little different. This is my second or third month (I’m losing count now) and for me, this is the longest in quite some time. Why? I don’t really know. Part of it is physical, but I also took on too many projects this summer, we are being forced to downsize and will soon be moving our 5 person family to a two-bedroom apartment and then the usual stresses that I live with all the time.

I’ve been dealing with at least the depression factor since I was 12. I am 41 now, so I am on quite the familiar path. I am on full Social Security for these issues and from what I am told, I should expect it to last as long as I live, though I always hope that one day I will wake up and no longer be plagued with such sadness. I am actually very, very lucky. I have an amazing husband who loves me very much and takes great care of me when needed. I have three beautiful, brilliant, compassionate children who bring me joy beyond my comprehension and who I believe have been the reason that I have come as far as I have over the last eight years. Many people in my position are not blessed with the kind of support system I have and never get to experience the good in life. I have months at a time that I can be social and have friendships and laugh.

So, I’m posting this for two reasons. One, because I felt the need to prove to certain people that I am not ashamed of any part of me (well, maybe my weight *grins*) and I can blog about it, post on Facebook about it, rent a billboard to announce it or even talk to distant family members about it and I should NEVER feel judged for it. I’ve been there, done that and I’m so over being  judged. If and when I post on FB again, if you don’t want to read it, please feel free to de-friend me. No hard feelings.

Okay and then the second, real reason is because even though I am not up to chatting with loved ones and friends, it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss them every day and wish them all the best. In the past few months, I have missed birthdays, life milestones and other extremely important events. Each one I have wanted to contact them in some way: Facebook, phone or email and unfortunately froze up in unexplainable panic. For those moments, I will always be sorry for as I have missed out on being to share in so many good times as I sit awash in memories of bad ones. Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, Congrats and Great Big Hugs to all of you. I hope you have known in your heart how much you all have been in mine.

I may not be up to being as social as telephone calls or even FB, but I will start posting here more and I’d love to hear from you.