For a long time it was thought that only school age boys had ADHD and that they grew out of it. Now they know that both boys and girls can have ADHD or ADD and that many never outgrow it.

As adults, we may seem to have a handle on it only because of the years of experience we have had in dealing with it. That doesn’t mean that it no longer affects our lives. In fact, for some of us — it actually gets worse as we can older.

I was not diagnosed with ADD until my late 20s. It was unfortunate for me that it wasn’t recognized even a few years before that when I started the “med merry-go-round”. Also, because only one doctor out of all the psychiatrics I’ve seen since I was 18 mentioned it to me, I blew him off.

Boy was I wrong!

I would joke about being ADD. I mean, isn’t it the “in” mental disorder to have now? Everyone gets to blame their impatience, forgetfulness and other quirks by saying “Oh I must have ADD.” In fact, even though I would share the fact that I was diagnosed with it when I discussed my mental health, I didn’t take it seriously until just this past year.

I read what is now a famous book called “Driven To Distraction”. Then I re-read Sandra Felton’s “Messies Manual” and realized “Hey, I really do have this. This explains so much now.” Perhaps by accepting this side of my personality, I can handle my relationships and responsibilities a little differently.

What are my ADD characteristics? Well…

To start off, I have to always be doing something. I cannot “leave myself alone” long enough to allow myself to just think and be. For example:

• I am currently reading 5 books.
• I subscribe to almost 10 magazines that I don’t have time to read.>
• I maintain 7 websites and 2 eBay accounts.
• I have 4 different hobbies with many projects half completed.

Next, I am famous for my memory problems. For example:

• The last time I tried to hold a job, I’d get in trouble for not remembering requests less than 10 minutes after they were given.
• I can even forget how old I am. (Seriously, sometimes I forget and think I’m still 27 instead of almost 37.)
• If it isn’t written down, it isn’t retained. It is better retained if I am the one who writes it down though. Then I can close my eyes and actually see myself writing it – sometimes.
• I can remember the plots and covers to hundreds of books, but I cannot remember the house I grew up in until I was 8 years old, when we lived in New York.

If keeping busy and having a poor memory were my only symptoms, then I could be diagnosed with several other things and so could you, if the above sounds familiar. These two indicators combined with other personality factors are what led this doctor to come to this conclusion…

• Clumsy
• Ability to become hyper-focused (especially with computer/video games)
• Disorganized despite many planners, calendars and other organizational tools
• Couldn’t stay in high school due to boredom but loved college with its many new things to learn
• Can stay in my seat for hours, but will continuously bounce my leg
• Unintentional tuning out during conversations in person but even worse on the phone
• Inconsistent energies — major differences on a daily basis
• Have a tendency to put “blinders” on — focusing on one particular thought and not being able to move past it
• Impulsive decisions
• Extremely poor self-esteem
• Problems with relationships/friendships
• Always moving on to the next new fabulous idea
• The fact that I know that there are certain things/behavioral changes I should attempt to make — a different way of thinking to adapt — but for the inability to follow through. Knowing mentally what to do but not being able to get past an invisible wall that doesn’t allow me to do it.

They say that ADD is never diagnosed alone. That you will always have another mental health disorder that co-exists with your ADD. In my case, I suffer from chronic depression, general anxiety, panic attacks, post traumatic stress disorder, etc.

So… the ADD makes me feel stupid and/or lazy which triggers the depression, which can cause the PTSD flashbacks leading into overall anxiety which can cause panic attacks.

Realizing despite the outside factors that contribute to my diagnosis, that my ADD could very well be the root of many of my issues was something I had to share. If you recognize yourself above, then you know for sure that you are not alone.

Those of us who blame ourselves for our inability to get organized and feel that we are stupid and/or unworthy, we are not alone. We are also incorrect in that we are not stupid.

We are also not lazy, irresponsible nor do we lack common sense. We aren’t insensitive, uncompassionate or cold.

We love our family and friends. We want to be able to hear everything you say and retain all the special events in your lives as well as our own. Being organized is important to us along with having a clean home and children who understand schedules. We would love to finish what we start and have that feeling of accomplishment.

Please love us for who we are and the wonderful qualities that ADD allow us to have. We are extremely intelligent and eager to learn new things. We have great ideas and love to help you get new projects off the ground. You can tell us the same joke more than once and you’ll probably get the same laugh.

Last, but definitely not least…..  We are never boring.